I’m driving along one night, thinking about life, totally relaxed when all of a sudden and out of the blue two big black eyes and my eyes lock together. It was a split second. That was all it took to jerk me out of my mindless state back to reality but it was not enough time for me to process what was going to happen in the next split second. Our eyes meet as the body of the black eyes keeps running into its uncertain future. I realized very quickly that this would not end up very good and my only reaction was to brace myself. This is the story of the deer that ran into my car.
I have not been hit by a deer before. I have not hit a deer before. I have had close calls but never the real deal. This was to close for comfort. He ran out in front of me from the left. I believe that he hesitated just long enough for it to be his life saver and my money saver. I was going around 110 so a head on collision would not have been fun. He ran right into my passenger door and sorta bounced off my fender and ran into the night before the semi a ways behind me could finish him off. It all happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to process what went on until after it all happened. First panic, then relief, then shock. Every shadow the rest of the way home made my heart beat a little faster.
Now like two months prior to this experience Someone told me that deer run into cars because of the steady light and noise. I don’t know if that is true but hey it makes for a great analogy! Are we people that run to the light? I have been convicted of late how much of my heart is focused on the the worlds promises… all of the worlds broken promises. Gosh so many times we actually make the conscious choice of running the other direction! Its shameful! Oh how many times we feel his loving arms and yet we still choose the later. Why!? Because of the nature we born into, sinful nature. Our automatic response is always the world, It is not our natural reaction to choose Jesus. And yes it is a choice. How we react is a choice. Our choice. I actually snapped at my sister for something super insignificant, In that moment I had a choice, I choice my flesh and I felt so bad afterwards!
Why is darkness so tempting when all we do there is stumble around blind and helpless? Because the light exposes our helplessness, and we. don’t. like. feeling helpless. No one likes being a deer in the headlights that are exposing all your wrong chooses. It’s just plain uncomfortable and we definitely live in a world of comfort here in the west. We are very used to being comfortable. Oh but the beauty of the cleansing work of the Holy Spirit! When we embrace the light of Jesus and come just as we are and allow Him to work in our hearts. IT may hurt a little. It may mean forgiving even though forgiving that person is like tearing out your heart out! I know the struggle of forgiveness! It feels so much easier to hold on but confessing and letting go is so much more freeing then holding on. It will probably hurt like crazy! I struggled! And actually forgiving meant choosing not to think about it anymore. But there is such a beautiful reconciliation in turning away from holding on and looking to Jesus to now fill that void. Turn to the light He is waiting!