Okie dokie time to let you guys in on something that took me for a little ride in this life recently.
Since I quit my job I was looking into the possibility of getting a formal education in a area that I was interested in. It turned out there were a couple options for me that I liked the idea of. Following in my mothers footsteps in becoming a Health Care Aid or becoming a Health Unit Clerk. I decided I liked the later option more since I enjoyed computers and greeting people. I applied at our handy dandy local college and was accepted by some miracle of God! (Getting all those grades together being a homeschool graduate proved to be a less then easy task.) I was feeling comfortable with life now. Riding into the school life once again, having an answer for every person who asked what I was doing now for work and feeling as though I was on the right track. God had opened doors and I had walked through them!
There is a weekly prayer room that I am apart of in the worship leading area with Jeffrey. We are in a tight rotation of musicians that ends up putting us up four weeks in a row for a 1 1/2 hour set each night and then one week off. It makes life busy but its always a rewarding thing to drag your butt to prayer room, I haven’t once left a night not feeling blessed or moved in some way. AAAANYWAY all that to say I was leading a set one night vocally while Jeffrey was on piano, as is usual, when we started singing a song called “Jesus all for Jesus”. Now I sang that song a lot growing up but this particular night God really decided to hit home this simple little tune. “All of my ambitions, hopes and plans I surrender these into Your hands.” If I hadn’t been leading the song I may have stopped because my heart was stuck at the spot the rest of the set. I didn’t really know know why God was pressing this word, surrender, into my heart. But oh I’d find out.
I need to know that Gods got this no matter what may come, when I live a surrendered life I am safe in His arms. Yes I can trust Him with that. But what if nothing goes to plan?! Yes a week later, three work days before it was to start my college course was canceled due to lack of interest. After that phone call I laid down on the floor and tried to wrap my brain around my current life situation.
Of course now I had to tell everyone that. I told I was going to school that I was no longer, and understandably their first question is, “so what now?”, me, “Good question!”
Now all of this happened over three weeks ago so it is now almost old news, although I still get the odd person who doesn’t know. Still the theme of surrender has staid strong in my heart. I am still learning how to daily let things go. It can be so hard to let God take control of your life. When things seem to go “out of control” that is when people wake up to the fact that they don’t have control. At that point it seems to shake them up for a while, wonder who does have control, feel distant from the God that does have control over all things and then they slip back into their comfortable life routine. The cycle rages on. I have been feeling a strong urge for the need to stop the cycle. I don’t have control. But I am the Daughter of the One who has all control!