I had a few of you thank me for the last post I did on racism. I don’t claim to have all the wisdom but it is so good for me to write how I feel sometimes. Thank you all for your encouragement… it really is so nice to hear!
Most of the time I don’t feel at all qualified to even write here. I see how incredibly messed up I can be sometimes. How my heart is prone to evil intent and wrong thinking. It is hard to be Christ worthy. I hurt sometimes. I grow bitter. I jump to conclusions. I assume. I regret things. I reject people that have hurt me to many times. I see so much darkness in my heart where there should be light. It can be very difficult to live this life in a manner that is Jesus worthy. Goodness, I want to crawl into a hole sometimes after doing something that I know was not God honouring and wish I would never have to come out! You know what I mean?! There are days where I want it throw a blanket over my head and not face the world! It is hard to do when you have a job to go to though. The other day I was asked if my marrying Jeffrey was me running away from something. At first I wanted to get really defensive, but I held my tongue. It made me think, in my lifetime how many times have I run away?! I am I running away right now? Fewf it made me think!
When Jonah ran away in the bible he definitely knew he was running away. It says the lord told him to “arise and go….” (vs,2) “but Jonah rose to flee to tarshish from the presence of the Lord.”... Yep he seemed to know what he was doing. This prophet of God, this man who knew God’s presence decided to leave it and flee. Running away never works and as we well know it didn’t work for poor Jonah. God put him into a situation that was very unusual and definitely out of Jonah’s control to show him that fleeing wasn’t going to work for him. From Jonah’s story I sort of came to the conclusion that one probably will know when one is running away from a plan God has for them. If you are not fleeing from the presence of the Lord then at least you know its not worth the effort to. So am I running away you ask… well I don’t think so. I long for His presence! I really want to be close to Him and to feel His fatherly hug. That doesn’t mean I always feel close to God, in fact sometimes I feel like I’ve wandered very far away from Him; but HE NEVER LEAVES!
I find it special that the last verse in Jonah is God saying that He has pity on stupid people. Man does God have patience! God has patience and love for a person like me who constantly messes up. Who does things out of complete selfishness more then she’d like to admit. Yet the Lord always has you covered when you feel like the world is failing you; which by the way it always will. I use His patience a lot. He sees the little sparrow, and so He sees the ones He created in his own image, with His own hands. You can't run away from that blessed fact.