Transitions has been the the word that seems to best describe my 2018 year I believe. SO many surprises and amazing things and hard things happened in 2018. I know that he has been good through it all. There are so many things that I have learned. Some of which I never have published but still written down. I feel like I have grown up in a whole new way. Another word that was a theme throughout this year was forgiveness. I feel like I wrote about it quite a bit, reason being… I was really struggling with forgiving someone. I needed to write and remind myself of truths that I had in my heart. Although that helped a little I feel like I need to tell you the really big thing I learned through the journey.
I was justifying my unforgivness by calling it hurt. Although I was hurt I was also unwilling to forgive. The secret to forgiving was telling someone I trusted the secret. It wasn’t instant relief, in fact I felt a little ashamed. I was operating so much according to my feelings while living in unforgivness and yet the whole time I knew it wasn’t right. But after confessing to that fellow believer I realized that my mental broken record on the situation was stopped! I had trouble falling asleep thinking about what that person had done to me. It seemed to consume my thought life. The few people I told about it actually affirmed in my “hurt”. That didn’t help.
I was told ‘forgive, but you shouldn’t forget’. I talked to Jeffrey about that and realized that we had to debunk that thought scripturally as soon as possible because it gives way for unforgiveness. If you don’t forget do you truly forgive?! SO since this is the lie I believed for a little bit I thought I’d come public with the truth I discovered because of the lie.
Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others their trepaesses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” Seems pretty harsh, but that’s the point! Forgiveness is so important! God forgave us when we were in our worst rebellion against Him! He is a Holy God! You may say “Oh well He is God that was probably easy.” I can not imagine what pain He went through so that we can stand righteous before God. The Man that carried the sins of the world upon His shoulders unto to death definitely doesn’t sound easy to me. He bleed for every one of the sins you commit, every lie you tell every word of gossip you spread is a pierce to His spotless heart. So now that we understand that it is a choice to forgive and not an easy one what about forgetting.
There are probably two ways to look at the part about not forgetting and my sister reminded me of that when I got a little worked up refuting the way I took it. So I’ll give you you the one way then the other. The way I took it was that that gives you an excuse to hold onto bitterness. SO does God remember our trespasses against Him? Hmmm let’s check, Psalm 103:12 “as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our tresgressions from us.” Nope He doesn’t hold memories of our sin when we come humbly in repentance! Colossians 2:13-14 “And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.” He cancelled it. When you delete or cancel something it’s gone. Its really hard to get back most times. If we claim to be Children of God we have to forgive and with true forgiveness comes a washing of the Holy Spirit. Forgiveness Is ugly. It’s hard. It’s a battle. Satan wants you to hold on because that means he has a foothold in your life. But its a battle fought in Jesus name is worth fighting.