After two weeks of M.I.A. I'm back! The site is back! Long complicated issues with payment problems... I won't bore you. I’ll just give you guys a short write up today to tie you over till Tuesday!
The other day Jeffrey and I were in pre-marital counselling/mentoring provided by dear friends of ours. The topic was “Do you know how to fight a good fight?”. It was really interesting to me. When in an argument you can either escalate an issue really fast or deflate an issue pretty easily. I found it so good to have that brought to my conscience. It is very good to realize that you have power of an argument.
“Conflict is like a fire in two ways. It always burns, but the flame always sheds light.”
We learned it's always a good idea to never start with a ‘you’ statement, that just makes the other person defensive. Rather its better to start with a ‘I’ statement.
‘You really hurt my feelings when you laughed at my outfit the other day’
‘I was hurt when you laughed at my outfit the other day’
I’ve personally seen this work. They feel less attacked. It's easier to work from a starting point like that. Conflict may still come after that but at least it's a good start when you aren’t making aggressive statements. That alone, of all that I learned, was a good thing to remember. I’m one that avoids confrontation if at all possible, but I have also seen that be very destructive. Negative feeling and thoughts have a high rate of resurrection in life, a lot higher it seems then positive thoughts and feelings. So I am learning that some things NEED to be dealt with or it only gets worse.
I hope that that short write up was thought provoking!
Now back to regular programming!