I love harvest season. I love fall. I love the smell of cold dirt. I love the cozy sweaters (of which I have an abundance!). I love cuddles. I love warm drinks. I love the colourful trees. I have been blessed to be working potato harvest this year once again and I constantly have a pink glow in my cheeks. Maybe because I’m teetering close to the edge of sickness because of being in the cold so much, but I chose to think its because of all the great fresh air I’m getting. I recently got to take engagement pictures for a lovely couple, when they asked to wait till the trees were colourful I was so happy! Fall engagement pictures are really pretty. Okay I am so biased towards fall being my favourite season haha. It is hard for me to have a bad attitude in such a beautiful season.
The other night a dear friend spoke on ‘count it all joy’ to our young adults group. I didn’t think that there was much in my life that would influence me towards a negative attitude that evening. Ha. Ha. Ha. Oh how the devil loves to sneak into those types of thoughts! That evening I sunk into a sullen attitude thinking about how people had made life hard for me. I knew I shouldn’t have been/didn’t want to be thinking that way but I didn’t really connect it to an attack with reference to the few hours prior. Since we talked about surrender last week I need to mention that there are definitely areas I really need to work on in that area. Surrendering what happens in my life seems to be easier for me because I realized that I literally have no control over that anyway! But surrender past hurts is harder. I don’t want to hold on because it makes life miserable, and yet things come up and Satan strikes with inopportune accuracy.
Have you ever talked with a person who complained the entire conversation? Don’t you just walk away from that feeling almost sick! To learn to see blessings is almost a practice, and to choose joy is a learning process. I have intentionally had to see blessings. Like yesterday morning I was late for work that was actually canceled, of which I didn’t know about. So I rush to get my lunch made and get out the door without having breakfast. I get the text work is canceled when I’m almost to work so I turn around and head home. I almost hit a deer (had to slam on the brakes, that poor frightened animal was probably 2 inches from a big bang.) and was just driving down the road in a grumpy attitude, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed some may say. Then my eyes seems to be opened to the frosty, grey fog and the glistening, wet trees, there was a beautiful picture before me. I chose in that moment to try and turn my frown upside down. It was a very conscience decision.
I think we have control over our attitude. I think we have control over what we allow into our brain. Like I said before though it is a practice. I believe that we have to train our thought life. None of that works without Jesus fighting for you through that battle. The devil is a conning deceiver. The father of lies. You really can’t fight that master mind on your own. Blessed are the sons and daughters of God that have Him on their side. He doesn’t just sit on His throne chin resting in His hand watching His human creation struggle. Nope there is a heavenly battle going on that we don’t even see! Imagine that Jesus is literally covering you with His wings, holding you safe from the devils attack. I love that concept. Jesus is more then just a protector of the physical but also the protector of the mental.
Okie dokie time to let you guys in on something that took me for a little ride in this life recently.
Since I quit my job I was looking into the possibility of getting a formal education in a area that I was interested in. It turned out there were a couple options for me that I liked the idea of. Following in my mothers footsteps in becoming a Health Care Aid or becoming a Health Unit Clerk. I decided I liked the later option more since I enjoyed computers and greeting people. I applied at our handy dandy local college and was accepted by some miracle of God! (Getting all those grades together being a homeschool graduate proved to be a less then easy task.) I was feeling comfortable with life now. Riding into the school life once again, having an answer for every person who asked what I was doing now for work and feeling as though I was on the right track. God had opened doors and I had walked through them!
There is a weekly prayer room that I am apart of in the worship leading area with Jeffrey. We are in a tight rotation of musicians that ends up putting us up four weeks in a row for a 1 1/2 hour set each night and then one week off. It makes life busy but its always a rewarding thing to drag your butt to prayer room, I haven’t once left a night not feeling blessed or moved in some way. AAAANYWAY all that to say I was leading a set one night vocally while Jeffrey was on piano, as is usual, when we started singing a song called “Jesus all for Jesus”. Now I sang that song a lot growing up but this particular night God really decided to hit home this simple little tune. “All of my ambitions, hopes and plans I surrender these into Your hands.” If I hadn’t been leading the song I may have stopped because my heart was stuck at the spot the rest of the set. I didn’t really know know why God was pressing this word, surrender, into my heart. But oh I’d find out.
I need to know that Gods got this no matter what may come, when I live a surrendered life I am safe in His arms. Yes I can trust Him with that. But what if nothing goes to plan?! Yes a week later, three work days before it was to start my college course was canceled due to lack of interest. After that phone call I laid down on the floor and tried to wrap my brain around my current life situation.
Of course now I had to tell everyone that. I told I was going to school that I was no longer, and understandably their first question is, “so what now?”, me, “Good question!”
Now all of this happened over three weeks ago so it is now almost old news, although I still get the odd person who doesn’t know. Still the theme of surrender has staid strong in my heart. I am still learning how to daily let things go. It can be so hard to let God take control of your life. When things seem to go “out of control” that is when people wake up to the fact that they don’t have control. At that point it seems to shake them up for a while, wonder who does have control, feel distant from the God that does have control over all things and then they slip back into their comfortable life routine. The cycle rages on. I have been feeling a strong urge for the need to stop the cycle. I don’t have control. But I am the Daughter of the One who has all control!
No words guys! No words! I woke up so excited that not even the thunder outside could dampen my spirits! I got dressed and ate breakfast reminiscing about how I used to do this same routine 1-3 times a week over a year ago. I had barely slept a wink that night just praying that the weather would be good for flying! That’s right! I was going flying again!
Four years ago my now father-in-law dubbed me his “daughter” to get me into family flying day at the military base, today I actually was his daughter! Today father and daughter were flying together for the first time since I had gone for flight lessons! I was over the clouds (so to speak;P) to be going up. With my little training I could tell that flying in the weather at present would be fine and I was just raring to get up in my paradise! Dad took me with him to the base earlier than everyone else so I could join him for the walk around and start up, hopefully to get a longer flight! We did the walk around, got in the plane and waited for it to be towed out to the apron so dad could do the start up checks.
He called the tower for takeoff permission and we taxied to 31R. “Okay Regan, rotation speed is 65 and your throttle is at your left hand. You are in control.” My heart screamed with joy at those words as I wrapped my fingers around the stick. Steadying my other hand on the throttle lever the pulse in my veins pounded with gleeful anticipation as I opened to full throttle and slowly pulled back on the stick, gaining airspeed and altitude while compensating for a slight crosswind. Pilot Regan was coming back! I am currently running out of words to describe my excitement. I don’t believe I stopped smiling the whole time! We went to my current little abode and circled it. Then we flew a few turns over my dads house with a low and over (pulling a few G’s in the process) to show off to my younger sister who was videoing us as we rumbled overhead. Heading back to base we enjoyed some serene flying enjoying the view and chatting. Then it was sadly time to land which I was also supposed to do. I was definitely a bit rusty but with a bit of talking through is was a nice smooth landing.
By the time the flight had come to an end I felt tears gathering behind my eyes. All this anticipation and now it was over and I’d have to wait till next years family day to fly again. I was going to enjoy this to the very last drop that I could. I definitely know I love flying but I didn’t realize it effected me to the point of tears! I think it was a mix of happy tears and sad tears, I got to fly again and am so blessed in that way, yet I wish for more flying. If I got a sponsorship I wouldn’t think twice about finishing! Any offers? Haha! I gave dad as big a hug as was possible in a plane, trying to make sure none of those tears came out, then got out of the plane so my brother (in-law but that’s not important) could get in for his turn. When I sat down in the hanger I had to close my eyes and just smile, soaking in the pleasant feeling the experience I had just had left me with.
I feel like we’ve had a few Regan’s life chit chats and a lot of stories the past little while. We will be having another Regan’s life chit chat next week but I wanted to interrupt regular programming to take you back to regular programming!
So I sit here in my little house on the prairie and sip on my iced coffee, watching my latest paint project dry and contemplating what to talk to ya’ll about today.
I was reading in Isaiah recently, and admittedly pushing through it trying to understand the prophetic references but not really seeing them, when I came across a little verse that I could’ve easily read right over but actually noticed. Isaiah 31:2 has a little line that goes “He does not call back his words.” *Regan continues reading but then whips her eyes back to find the verse again* Did that say what I thought it said?! I find the line again and reread it. Yup! It did! Now I was raised with a stanch belief in context, context, context so of course I’m not going to just give you a line and make up a meaning to it. The context of that line is talking about the Holy One of Israel and His wisdom, particularly in the context of war and in dealing with evildoers. Pretty severe. Like I said before I am taking Isaiah very literally to its word, as I haven’t been trained or my eyes haven’t been fully opened to the prophetic yet.
He does not call back his words. I love that. As a human being (and female) there have been many many nights where I have laid awake thinking through things I’ve said or didn’t say and should’ve said. Lots of regrets. A person can really get themselves into an emotional tangle thinking about the past and all they’ve done if they want to! I have actually cried myself to sleep thinking through that line of thought. So we as humans aren’t infinite in our wisdom and we definitely regret things we say or do, even as children of Jesus Christ!
That verse just really hits home to me that Jesus is trust worthy. We are but finite beings living in a sinful world. It takes so much wisdom to know what to say sometimes. Thinking about how Jesus actually called people fools... I would never call someone that yet He was wise in saying what He did, every word that passed through His lips was spoken with deliberation and finality, without regret. It takes a close intimacy with Jesus, a daily communing with Him to become like him. The saying ‘you are who you hangout with’ (or something like that) is true, you being to mimic people you admire. Do you admire Jesus? Or even better have you surrendered your life to Jesus? Him living through you will always produce the best kind of mimic, because Jesus is very good at being Himself.