One thing I learned though, a piece of wisdom for everyone out there, never tell a bride that “it’s just a day”, I got that quite a bit and it took willpower to keep my comments back. The day still has to happen and the bride still has to plan the day and feed the people and make sure everything is ready to go. Just something I came away with that I hope I will remember!
Some advice for brides to be, don’t be afraid to ask for help! In my case only two people really asked if they could help and then did. If you don’t ask, people probably won’t actually help. Planning a wedding is a lot of work, to much for one person, (especially the bride) to do by herself! Along that note though too, people that do help can try and make your day their own by pressuring you. This is Jeffrey’s advise to those brides because it happened to me and he saw it happening... Don’t let them! If you honestly don’t care about having a wine glass and a water glass at each plate then don’t let someone convince you that you need both! If you think paper plates work fine then paper plates it is! No one really cares! They are all there to support you guys and everyone wants the bride to come away from her day thinking of it as her own!
Our wedding day was such a a nice day! I NEVER want to plan a wedding again, especially without a mom, but nothing went wrong during the day and I really couldn’t have ask for better weather! Plus now I’m married! Mrs. Regan Holm!
So four days ago my dad remarried. It was a very nice big wedding. Well when you get married at 47 you tend to know a lot more people and have a bit more money, so 300 people is just fine. I know that I have only written one post mentioning the fact that he was getting remarried, so I decided to write another and go a bit more into it. There are a lot of different feelings that are raging through ones body as your watch a parent get remarried.
You don’t want them to be alone the rest of their lives but you also don’t want routine of the life you had to make after losing a parents messed up again. Quite honestly, even though I am moved out, it seems as though life has never been normal since mom died. So now our lives are all thrown into the mixing bowl once again and we shall see what God creates.
I’ll start at the beginning. I know I have had many privileges that most kids didn’t get after my mom died. But I also had many more responsibilities so personally I feel as though it evened out. As soon as I got my drivers I was driving everywhere for everything, and taxing sisters everywhere for everything. I had great ideas and dad let me try them out. I also had to make sure there was supper on the table every night, and that the house was clean. When I started working and flying then the next sister in line after me had to start taking on those responsibilities. We had to make sure we had food for potlucks at church. We had to make sure the flower beds in our yard and garden were clean of weeds. We had to do laundry. It keeps one busy.
Now there is a new woman stirring up the pot. Someone told me that there will have to be a lot of respect on both sides for this to go smoothly and I agree. Some things my sisters will just have to live with and somethings Twylla will just have to live with. So long as they both give a little and both realize and understand that the other is sacrificing then theoretically it should work, with Jesus.
Along those lines the morning of the wedding I really wanted to go visit my moms grave, it ended up that we didn’t get a chance to. I wanted to remember her. I have thought over and over how this really isn’t how life should be, growing up in the years when you’d most need a mom without one.
Twylla is very kind in remembering that we aren’t her kids and she isn’t our mom and never will be. She also included my moms parents in the ceremony, but it was very hard for them. I think that it was difficult for anyone who was closely connected to my mom. I think that dad and Twylla make a great couple. To be honest for me Twylla will just be Twylla and mom will always be mom, there will be no merging of the two. I knew my mom. I remember her. I don’t give that title away lightly. It’s not that I’m trying to be rude or make her feel excluded, as Twylla will be grandma to my kids one day of that there is no question, yet with my mom still so close to my heart I can’t bring myself to call her that. Which is ok. So with this blog post your get to see a little about what has gone on in my life recently. I am very happy for the newlywed couple and know that they have a difficult road ahead going back to a home of 3 teenage girls. But I pray that Jesus is the centre of everything in that home.
There are times in life where I have randomly had time to go through my blog posts. I definitely realized which ones really impact me and which ones I can read through and not flinch. It has typically been that the ones that really move me are the ones that I trembled a little to post. Many times I question if its the right time or the actually what I want to say now. When I read over them occasionally its so timely sometimes for what I’m going through or what I need to hear. Its like reading your past journal entries. You remember when God told you this or prayers that God answered!
One old blog post that stood out to me was my racist post. It spoke to me in a way that I didn’t feel when I wrote it. It honestly just bugs me more and more when I see people pick on colour… no matter what colour it is or whether the person is fine with it. So I was glad I spoke that. But even more so after writing that post I was put into a weekly opportunity to test my heartfelt beliefs in two ways in regards to prejudice.
I have been working with a new centre in the town of Portage La Prairie that is called Prairie Pregnancy Support Centre. Nope I really can not relate to being pregnant or having children, but I do have a heart for women in need of help. My job is administrative but I am typically the first person that people see and interact with when they walk in the door. God has shown me that harbouring prejudgment about people is just not something that works at a support centre.
Learning that I have more prejudice in my heart then I’d like to admit. Whether thats towards a client or even the lovely christian women I work with. We all are gospel bible believing amazing women but there are always things passed around like “this church does that” or “that church does do this”. Some things are very important to do or not do, but some things are just petty preferences. Differencing them out in your heart isn’t easy sometimes but once you put it through the grid of God’s word you will probably realize what is of eternal importance. SO I am trying to be a willing learning in judging by what is of eternal importance and not in what is my personal preference. And tada I am constantly learning and growing and this blog has helped me SO much in doing that! I pray that it is impacting one of you in the way that it helps draw you closer to Jesus!
As the final days of our adventure were coming to a close I was growing more anxious to see a waterfall. I wanted so badly to explore a waterfall so I googled the best waterfalls to go see. We went and saw two in particular. I was really hoping to go swimming at some falls but the google searches came back pretty fruitless in that area. Peepee falls was the one that left us with the most memories and me with a dead phone in the end. July first we celebrated Canada Day in Hawaii with our red “Canada” shirts that Jeffrey had conveniently packed for us and ice cream at McDonalds. We then ventured to Peepee falls. There was a nice little overlook that the tourists were looking at the waterfall from but we noticed that the locals were climbing their way down a steep embankment down to the boiling pots and then trekking their way to swim by the waterfall itself. I was so excited! We may be able to swim at some falls after all. So we slipped our way down to the boiling pots and explored for a bit, determining that we would definitely come back the next day and actually go swimming up to the falls.
After exploring the falls we hiked back up the steep hill and from there drove to another waterfall. To our disappointment that one was privately owned by a small hotel so we were not allowed to go down and see it unless we were guests. Within the next few days we relaxed on our cute little swing under our treehouse, got ice cream, walked a little mall, and then spontaneously decided to go to rainforest zoo. Jeffrey loves parrots and little birds of that type. This Zoo was full of birds! It was so neat going to a zoo in a climate that is mainly warm because they had different kinds of animals then we would have up here in Canada. I saw an ant eater for the first time. It was surprisingly free that day so it turned into a cheap and cool experience. Oh and they had a few donkeys… my heart went home… I sometimes miss my childhood and anxiously waiting for a baby donkey to be born so I could raise it.
Back to Peepee falls. We attempted the swim to the falls. When I say attempted I mean we turned back before finishing the journey. I guess swimming lessons were a few more years ago then I realized. To get to the falls you had to swim across two pools of water. It turned out to be a overcast and sorta rainy day; the water was fairly cold. I got in deciding to take my phone with me because I really wanted pictures! My phone got hyperthermia and died. Lol actually water got in my water resistant phone. It all turned out fine in the end once we got back to canada. Yes dad, I AM DONE WITH KILLING PHONES WITH WATER! (I may have a history) It was really exhilarating to swim in the current driven water (and do something our parents probably wouldn’t have condonded if they had seen the water.) Although we were completely out of steam by the time we climbed up the rock to the second pool. So after resting there for 10 or so minutes we let the current sweep us back to the rock face we had climbed down to the water on. I was kinda bummed that I didn’t get to swim up to the waterfall, but I was really proud of Jeffrey and I for conquering that first pool of water.
I learned to golf in Hawaii! Yup I can golf now! It is fun to play sports with my husband were we both enjoy ourselves (although we enjoy most sports together.) We golfed on a green with palm trees and little rodents playing around the trees. It was such a great experience. All to soon it was time to go home. Hawaii airport is open air in Kona. Our rental car owner got a friend to drive us to the airport and in talking with him we realized he was a Christian and a missionary kid! His parents helped start a YWAM base in Haiti, and that is where he grew up. It was such a great way to end our time in Hawaii. Hawaii seems like a very spiritual places with churches everywhere, yet it seemed to still have a lot of native culture within it. Kristian seemed like a very genuine guy.
Off we flew back home. 36 hours of travel later we were picked up by my brother-in-law in Winnipeg. We fell into our bed that night and slept a solid 12 hours. So glad to be home!